Who is Gerard?​

Gerard is a Dutch adventure tourist. He ticks most of the boxes as far as stereotyping is concerned. He is slightly impatient and not discreet at all. He retired from the university where he was teaching a year ago and now at the age of 66 he spends his time travelling the world.

Some scars take a life time to heal

By Anke Roos

A cosy atmosphere prevailed round the campfire at Crewe farm. The nights on top of the mountain can become very chilly, but the heat of the fire was just enough to make it pleasant.

But now the time had come for Gerard to tell his story. He didn’t stand up or do anything to draw attention to himself. A sadness seemed to creep over his face.

“My scar,” Gerard began, “came from losing my wife, Laura, in a car accident.”

The background murmuring and soft laughter suddenly subsided. The other adventurers quickly realised that he was very emotional.

“We met on graduation day,” Gerard started. “She was giving her graduation speech at Maastricht University, when our eyes locked. At that moment, we both knew something strong was binding us. We got married three years after, and then decided to grow our family.”

Gerard talked about their two beautiful daughters, Marie and Sam. Both were married now and had kids of their own. “We were married for 39 years,” he said, before pausing to collect his thoughts.

“Laura wanted us to spend a week visiting our eldest daughter, Marie, who lived with her family in Brussels. We had not seen them for a while, and the grandchildren were both performing in a school play. She was adamant that I should go with, but as usual my workload didn’t allow for it. At least, so I argued.”

Gerard told the group a bit about his work at the university. He was a lecturer at the same university where they had met almost four decades earlier. He was about two years from retirement, but he was hoping that he could extend his tenure for a year or two.

“I really did want to go see my daughter, her husband, and especially the grandchildren,” Gerard said. “But I was also reluctant to put in leave. I suppose it is just one of those things that comes with growing older. You fear that you will be replaced, that no-one will miss you when you’re not at work. It’s stupid, but it’s a reality.” A look of guilt and shame crossed his face.

“Laura always wanted to travel the world. It had been her dream ever since she was a little girl. But the married life, and life of a mother, did not open many possibilities to go see the world. There was always someone else to care for, someone else whose dreams were more important. And Laura was really good at helping others chase their dreams,” said Gerard wistfully.

When Gerard kissed his wife goodbye, he did so with mixed feelings. He told himself that he would make it up to her. Once he retired in a few more years, the two of them could explore the world.

“It was a difficult week that followed. A day after she had left, I secretly bought two plane tickets to South Africa. One of Laura’s dreams was to visit the Kruger National Park. I thought I would surprise her, and we could leave when the university break started a few weeks later.”

The night before his wife was to return, Gerard prayed. This was something he hadn’t done for years. He grew up in a family that visited church every Sunday, but somehow the practice was abandoned.

“That night I prayed that God would protect my wife on her journey back home. I heard that there were some snowstorms, and the roads might be slippery. Laura did not like driving in the snow, but she also did not want to wait a few more days to return home,” said Gerard.
Gerard could hardly wait for his wife to be back. Somehow, he had an epiphany that the week away from Laura was a sign of change. He knew that the time to follow Laura’s heart had arrived. He took the unusual step of putting in leave for the day after her return. He would take her to Fitz Roy, one of her favourite restaurants, for an early breakfast.

“I knew that she would be delighted. She loved travel magazines and could spend hours watching the travel channel. She could tell you what the best time of the year would be to visit Alaska, or what a plane ticket to Burundi cost. In her mind, she planned the trips, escaping from the often-dreary reality of everyday life. But she especially loved Africa.”

Laura left Brussels early that morning. “She wanted to visit a family member who stays in Diepenbeeck, which meant a slight detour. It is a trip of less than two hours, but because she told me of the visit, I didn’t immediately worry. It was only later that afternoon that I started getting this feeling that something was not right. She normally phoned me whenever she arrived at a place, so the silence was not natural,” said Gerard.

The phone call that Gerard dreaded came at about 15:00. A freak accident had occurred near Hasselt. Laura had stopped at an intersection, waiting for the light to turn green. A truck approached from the side but had to brake and swerve when another car suddenly stopped in the middle of the road. The truck driver did not make provision for the icy surface and skidded into Laura’s car. She died on the scene.
“My big regret is that I never cared for Laura’s dreams. I cared about my job, and I did not want to let go. I always told Laura and the children that ‘one day’ we would travel. Yes, ‘one day’ we would go and see the lions in the Kruger, visit the Serengeti and even climb to the top of Kilimanjaro. But it was always inconvenient,” said Gerard, a trace of bitterness in his wry smile.

“And that is why I travel, and I will until the day that I die someday. To fulfil my wife’s dream of seeing the world. This is my way of honouring her,” Gerard concluded.